Can you feel me at all?
by Gothic-Lolita16
Summary: America POV America feels quilty at how he won interdependence day and a bad dream makes him realise he is lonely and is in fact in love with Engalnd! After talking with Lithunia about his storage room cleaning. He is on his way to britian to spend time with Iggy This story is connected to "I never knew you felt this way!" Which is Englands POV, It is better to read this one first
1. Prologue

**HI EVERYONE :)**

**Vixy here or should I say the Gothic Lolita! But seriously Vixy here :)**

**I'm here with my 3rd fanfic. It's gonna be a story of developing love between Alfred and Arthur. Kinda begans with America cleaning his storage room and goes on from there! Ah ~ Guilt and love is shown and opens up a whole new world of possibilities 3**

**There are gonna be two versons of this story -**

**"Can you feel me at all?" is Alfred-Kun's POV**

**"I never knew you felt this way!" is Arthur-Kun's POV**

**(It's probably best to start with Alfreds POV first though**

**I do not own Hetalia but if i did then there would be a new set of series of Hetalia Love which all nation couples! Mmm maybe I will make a fan series sometime. If you want that then prease but that in your review :3 get it prease ~ (Japan/Kiku reference)**

**Warnings: Very intensive moments, sad scenes and some smexy fluff later on in the series (i will change the rating when that happen's though)**

I never once thought about how love for people began...

I knew how my love for hamburgers came though hehe, but to be honest nothing beats my heart so well then wanting to be with someone. I mean I know i'm young and all, but hearing France talk about amore and seeing how Finland and Sweden are slowly warming up to each others embraces, really makes me realise that I am lonely.

It only occurred to me in dream mode. I went to sleep around 11pm after eating two hamburgers and 3 sodas - they say that eating bad before bed can give you nightmares - but the dream I had wasn't a nightmare, more of a realisation. So dude, I had been eating at McDonalds in the dream when my boss came by and said,

"America, I know this is sudden but I'm having problams with my wife and wanted to know what your thoughts were on how love begins and ends.." however I did not know how to answer him in due to me never being in love so I said,

"I'm sorry dude, but I've never been in love so..." He stopped me in my tracks and said,

"Then you will be alone for life if you do not learn the facts of life. How love begins! hopefully if your lucky enough you won't learn the factcs of how it end's" Then I woke up in a sweaty state. Huffing and puffing like i'd been on the treadmill at Arthurs. He had always forced me to go on one after eating a McDonalds. Speaking of Britian, I also did not really dream a lot so when I did have this dream my thoughts went straight to him. Arthur always used to tell tales of amazing dreams and how it came in with his witchcraft.

I wanted to see him do a spell or two just to see if he was kidding or not, but he'd always just shake his head and say no. Arthur told me that it was kinda dark magic and that he didn't want me to be caught up in his rituals because he was scared that some sort of underworld creature would get me while he was unaware of the forces around him, but another part of his magic is light. He told me that he knew some old british wish spells that a magical creature called Mint Bunny told him as a kid. To bring one dreams, He told me that one on the day I was adopted and it worked. I always belived though it was just out of joy of not being alone.

It's silly because I woke up and thought that maybe he was doing one of those to get me to stop eating a lot, because I was in McDonalds in the dream. Love however wasn't a thing that we would ever talk about and Arthur once said to France that he wasn't interested in love because he thought he was too old and was fine with being himself and having the company of other nations. He never wanted to get involved with that emotion because he said that when I was a kid that I was like his son and that having some woman would make me uncomfortable, even now I heard that he can't bear to fall in love with a person...

So that's what stroke me as odd. One, the fact that I had a dream in over 10 years (last one was as a kid, the day I was adopted) and Two, that it wouldn't be England causing it by his so called magic because of what it was about. So that's why I just thought of it as a realisation that I was indeed lonely. I mean Canda is my bro although everytime I see him it's like he isn't there. He's so quiet and just talks to that polar bear teddy of his.

Love eh? I know though, that I'll never be the perfect partner with my habbits and the way I eat, Who would want me?

So I just ignored the dream, went downstairs. had some soda and microwave chips and watched TV until lunchtime when Lithuania came by to clean like he does once a month and to borrow some books, while he was busy dusting the hallways I decided it was time to do some cleaning of my old storage room...

**Ok so I know the prologue is really short and bad, but I promice chapter 1 will be longer and will actually start the story. This was just his morning realisation! Otherwise I think the grammer is really good. It's 11pm over here so I've spent the last half an hour sorting it out :D**

**So yeah please review and of course tell me if I should use old clips and images to make a new fan series :3 because I love hearing inspiring comments!**

**I know this may seem strange, I was trying to go for the whole Alfred POV but think I failed at catching his way of speaking :(**

**I'll try harder guys!**

**Alfred: Well I'm not one for reading but this is definitely what I would do in this situation :)**

**Arthur: Hmph! Well for one thing Mint bunny and my magic is real so there!**

**Alfred: Ok dude, what ever you say...**

**Vixy: Awww come on you two hug and make up :D**

**Arthur: No, I think we can just shake hands. He's not a child anymore.**

**Alfred: Aww! But Iggy, just yesterday you called me a childish eater.**

**Arthur: Well you eat like a pig and then you puked. That is childish behavior!**

**Alfred: So dude, can I have a hug?**

**Arthur: NO!**

**Vixy: Aww those to are so cute 3**

**Now please enjoy the next chapter where there is a proper story line ~**


	2. Chapter 1 The Lonely Dream

**Vixy here,**

**Chapter 1 as promiced and I am going to check all the grammer once I've written it, so I can keep it nice an clean of mistakes!**

**So people I hope the Prologue gave some in-sight to what's gonna happen ~**

**Probably not. It was kinda strange to write, I think it sucked to be honest! _**

**I'm going to try hard everyone, so don't worry!**

I was sitting on my sofa and chilling out, when the clock stroke lunchtime which was always the time Lithuania comes round to dust and borrow some books every once a month. I got up and went to the kitchen and got out the old teabags that Arthur told me to get when I had normal company round. So I just left it out for when the guy was thirsty. When I manged to get out an old tray so he could carry it up the stairs with his duster, the doorbell rang.

I put the tray down and walked down the long corridor of my big house letting my shoes make a little rap song against the wooden floors as I reached my front door. I opened it while shineing a big grin at Lithuania for a greeting.

"Hi dude! How's it going man?" I asked him while he smiled back.

"Hello Mr. America. I'm fine thank you. How are you today?" He asked back in greeting.

"I'm ok. Werid dreams though i'm telling ya! But otherwise good natural relaxing in the bones dude!" I laughed back. He answerd with a chuckle, telling me that it can happen to the best of us.

I moved out of the way, so he could walk in and go to the nearest broom closest and put on his cleaning apron and pick up his equitment.

"Teabags are in the kitchen!" I called out to him as I went up stairs to use the bathroom from drinking soda all morning. My bathroom was quite big and had a very nice bathtub and shower.

I used the toliet like you do and washed my hands before coming down stairs to find Lithuaina carrying some books towards me.

"Thank you again for letting me borrow these books Mr. America. I enjoyed them! Should I take these back up to the libary and get the new ones to take home?" he asked me.

"Sure dude! Take as much time as you need. Britian left me a lot of books to take care of, so have fun picking the new ones he sent me!" I replied as he smiled at me and headed up stairs. "Oh! While we're talking about cleaning, I should try cleaning that old storage room of mine," I told him before he disappeared.

"Oh? Are you sure? I'll do it for you." He offered.

"Naa it's ok, just a little shit cleaning. I really need to see what I should get rid of myself!" I grinned at him and walked off to the basement, which wasn't very spaceious. It was more of a squared room that only was less then a quarter of the house. Just a very small underground room really.

I walked down a small flight of stairs and opened up the old dusty door and switched the light on.

"Man! I've tried to go through this old stuff, but it brings back too many memories" I said to myself as I walked over to the biggest box in the right hand corner of the room. I couldn't help but notice an old wooden box with toy soliders. One that Arthur made and sprained his two hands just for me to have something to play with for once.

I ended up walking over to them and picking up a solider up. Part of the paint had scratched off but you could tell they all had diffrent faces.

"I painted them all indervisualty just for you Alfred" He told me when I laughed in happyness at how cool they were back then. I wanted to let tears run down my face; they were so fun to play with.

"I'm never gonna use these again, so I guess i'll chuck them out later" I told myself and then moved on the clothes pile I was suppose to go through first. An old suit was there on top of the pile and my mind went back to another memorie.

"I'm not going to be seen in public with you, if you won't smarten up lad!" He told me as he presented the suit. I ended up putting it on, but found it too fancy. "Now you can't even tell you're the same person," He said, happy with his present.

"It's too fancy, but I guess i'll only wear it on speical occastions then?" I said to him. Man I can't belive I ended up wearing it most days we went out together to meet some old friends. Well they were more of bussiness men who knew Arthurs ansestors.

I still can't belive England said I looked nice. I didn't think he meant it, but from the complements I got from people, it made me happy to say he was my adopted family. As a kid I was called his son, but as we got older it felt strange so we decided on adopted brother and so we got the documents changed to that.

"I'm going to have to get rid of this because it no longer fits," I said out loued. I spent some time going through old clothes, but it was mostly my childhood outfits. My old toddler dress or the 'chibi' dress as Arthur called it. Then there was the little English school boy set of clothes that I had as a boy. Arthur always called me cute, He'd always say how much I looked adorible to eat. Kinda lame and girly, but dude the memories are awesome so it stays as a cute outfit.

I didn't have much else expect a few jock jackets from hanging out with Canda at some big matches! Otherwise that was it. I had gone through the whole right side of the room by now and decided to clean the big chest in the middle of the room because it had some actual items in it. There were some baseballs that Mattie and me could play with later on at the summer BBQ meeting. Perhaps i'll get Lithuania to play with Poland as they always seem to do horse riding together with that pony the man found. Poland was such a girl at times, a pink shirt and all, but Lithuania found it fun and always enjoyed helping the guy take the horse for a ride in the woods.

Most of all though were some old video games and. Oh! As I sorted the games and dared to stick my hand deep to the bottom of the mess, I found an old long gun of mine. Probably a shotgun that saved my ass in wars. I mean I only had two or three of course since I strayed a bit from fighting, but on the day of the revolution...

"Wait, that one time...It has to be!" I told myself as I recalled the last battle when poor Arthur was the only one left on the battleground. Almost the same uniform, but red while mine was blue and I had a big white cross of a sash's and he only had a diagonal sash. I must have had about 50 to 100 men, then and it was only us who had pointed guns at each other accordingly. My men aimed at him naturally, but Arthur didn't care about them. He only cared about me not leaving his gaze. His bushy eye browed gaze that I found myself almost putting my gun down to study it better, because man did I love it when he looked at me with curiosity and need!

We had yelled at each other then he charged at me knocking our guns away and falling to his knees.

"On that day we took each others hands and made an agreement. He didn't want to loose me, nor I him!" I kept telling myself. Then and now a lot has changed in our daily lives, but in friendship... It only deepened.

Man now that I think about it, all of my awesome memories are with Arthur, it great to have someone there for you... eh! I just remembered my dream this morning and thought, well... I am alone now, I mean I truly am alone in my daily life and I loved spending time with Arthur as a kid...wait! Loved? My face and body feels so warm when I think about how kind he is and that gentle smile of his and his lovely bushy eye browed gaze. I like this feeling of warmth, but it's all new and confusing. I want to gasp at how hot my cheeks feel. I don't understand it dude! What is this emotion? I wanted to explode and tell him how much we should move back in with each other to make more memories. It's so strange and it would make him mad, especially if I do it on Independence Day! He would want what's best for us and we came to the conclusion in our battle of life.

Just as I was almost about embrace the gun at how horrible I was too him and how much I want him, I stopped myself as I heard Lithuania come down with some tea. He appeared at the door and smiled before showing a sign of worry.

"Wow memories you just love eh? It's dusty in here and bad for your health, covered knee deep over there, why don't you come out from that heap of stuff and join me for some tea in the garden Mr. America? It's independence day after all!" He asked me.

"Yeah sure, just a minute I need to go and clean my glasses, I'll be out in a sec dude" I told him trying to cover my flushed face as he nodded and went back up into the main complex.

Independence day, huh? I wanted freedom, any guy would...but, I really can see why Arthur cried out at me and chucked our guns away from us as he fell to his knees at my feet and looked up at me with begging eye's to not let go of the fact that I was his only friend in those days.

"You used to be so great" I had told him, which was a lie. Arthur was still great as ever! My only friend and family, but I wanted to grow up, be a nation and actually for us to go the meetings and meet other nations! Sure I remember as a toddler a bit of France and two others trying to catch me as I played hunts in the long grass of one of England's home fields before I met Arthur. I however never got to go to the meetings until after we made our agreement!

I feel so bad about it though. Now all I want to do is cry, but men don't cry and that would just be weird dude! But my emotion and want is so high and I feel like i'm high up in the sky floating with a burning sensation of everlasting hopes and dreams! I can't stand this, but I can't hide away either, because Lithuaina is waiting to have some tea with me and I don't want to cry in front of him!

So I end up pulling myself up from the ground where I'm ankle deep in shit that never made memories with Arthur and kicked the video game cases away from my feet and I put the clothes and gun in one clean corner for safe keeping. Then I got up reached for a toy solider so I could put it in my living room on top of the TV so I may see it everyday and be reminded of the man who I call my best friend and only mattering family to me. Of course Canda mattered to me, but Arthur was my favorite out of the two, which is bad of me to say because Mattie and me are twins really or at least an age or two apart.

I stomped up the stairs, furiously rubbing my face. God I just wanted to hold him close, I'm scared and don't understand this feeling at all, It's new and I just want to be normal again. Am I this weird? Man I don't feel normal anymore! What even is normal?

I rushed around the corridors past Lithuania who went to follow me, but I just told him I got dust in my eye and was going to clean it out. I ran and ran to the bathroom and splashed as much water as possible on my face before tears just poured their way out and down my face. I heard creaking, I was sure Lithuania was spying, but after a good old cry and cheering up as I smiled at my face in the mirror imaging England smiling right back, I got up the courage to go outside to have some tea. Of course no one was there, He wouldn't spy anyway. He's not like that!

Although I started to have doubt in myself when I got down stairs Lithuania was at the end of them asking if I was alright with a look of worry on his almost smiling face.

"Yeah dude! Just it hurt to have him, I mean dust in my eyes" I corrected myself before I said Arthur in my mind. The guy didn't talk about it any further and nodded towards the way to the garden.

"Shall we Mr. America?" He asked me as I replied with a nod and we went outside to chat and relax. "The weathers nice this time of year. A perfect day for a celebration" He smiled at me.

I just chuckled and looked up at the sky.

"Yeah it sure is remarkable, but you know I think it's more of a gloom day for Britian. After all this time I still feel terrible about that war" I told Lithuania. He nodded and tried to choose his words carefully.

"I'm sure it is. Loosing someone you care for, even if it's just a flight away, but I'm sure he's happy for you to be free. Mr. England wants the best for you" He told me.

"Dude, you have no idea!" I said before looking down at my lap, wondering if I could try and see if he knew what this feeling was, but not give the game away. "So Lithuania" I said as he turned to look at me with a questioning face.

"Yes?" He asked in a normal voice. He didn't have a clue what I was going to ask about...

So I'll just go for it then?

"What is the emotion when you miss someone, yet even after seeing them every now and again, you just want them so badly and just thinking of them makes you feel so warm and almost fuzzy?" I asked him with a slight nervous look.

"Oh well that's an easy one. It's love for a person. Missing someone and wanting them are two diffrent terms, but if they are put together with such emotion it's obvious that you love someone. Sometimes it's called a crush if you hardly know them, other times its pure bliss of affectionate love for a friend" Lithuania answerd me with such a happy look on his face and a slight blush.

"Do you love someone?" I asked him bluntly. He just blinked and laughed.

"Kinda like that. It's sort of equal though both ways. It's strange and abnormal to us, but we're both speical to each other and that's all that matters" He replied. "Why? Do you think you may love someone...Someone we both know?" He asked me smiling with a hint of a smirk.

"Err no! Don't be silly dude!" I laughed just swishing my hand in a fanning matter. Lithuania just nodded.

"I think Mr. England would love to hear that you may like someone, or maybe you could tell him who?" He said giggling. I just stared at him.

"Do you know who?" I asked nervously. He smiled once again.

"I'm sorry, but I think your in love with him" Lithuania answered with a nod.

"You don't think it's weird?" I asked him but he just shook his head.

"Not at all. To be honest Poland and me are in love, so I think it's fine to love a man. It's ok to be homosexual or bi-sexual if you still like girls" He said before sighing. "Such a lovely thing love is" He finished off before just watching the clouds roll by.

I nodded and did the same thing before telling him about how he never accepts love proposals. Lithuania took this all in before finally saying,

"Maybe he likes you back and doesn't think your return it or maybe the hint has been in his mind, but he never realized it" He said to me, trying to calm my nerves, "I think you should try to tell him slowly and see if he can open up to the idea. He may only have a hint of affection in his mind and it needs to be brought out by conversations and spending time together"

For once, things did make sense. The dreams I've only had are during deep emotion and passionate times. The adoption day, such happyness and spending time with Arthur in the fields playing games as a family and then that one nightmare after during the independence war of hurting him so badly that I almost killed him and the worry of shame I had during the last battle and now a sense of loneliness just one week after arriving back from our last meeting that we saw each other at.

Arthur told me that I should cut down on junk food and then later on we laughed at a good old joke about a story he heard about two siblings who wanted to be Jack and Jill then ended up in the pond of one of this neighbors. He called them sweet little things about the age of 6 and he then said it reminded him of how cute I was when I used to explore the lands of the field grass as a kid solider looking for land to have as a kingdom. I felt so happy that moment, but then we we're all quieted by Germany saying how we need to try and come to an agreement on how Italy keeps picking up bad habits from us all and that he said naughty words to him one night after hearing it from France's mouth when he read the boy a book about teenage love and conflict. It must have been one of those mafia teen stories of his.

Lithuania stopped me thinking as he told me that he had more cleaning to do, and then he asked me I'd like to go and see him and I told him yes.

"Well I don't mind paying for one way flight to England and then you can decided on how long your going to stay for" He said smiling.

"But dude! I can't expect you pay for me, what if it doesn't work out! Then it's just a waste and you already come here for the first week of the month and i'm sure Ivan pays for you since he sort of owns you in away and you don't have much money" I told him, but he just put a finger to my lips and said that he wanted to help and that he has quite a bit of money saved up for him and Poland and they probably have more then enough cash, so he could handle it. I didn't want him to do that because then I might get in trouble with Ivan. Although I'm sure Lithuania will get in trouble too and Poland might be very tense about it.

Lithuania just told me that it'll be fine and that Arthur and me needed to talk about things. He wanted to encourage the relationship to grow and I wanted to see Arthur more then anything, but I have been cut in my paycheck due to lateness and less work done. I hardly go to McDonalds now, I have to deal with microwave food instead, not as good as the company's because they have such a yummy speical sauce. However it's better then all those bland meals that you get at the local store. I'm so thankful for those good company's that decided hamburgers and chips should be able to be made at home, otherwise it would be a horrible diet for me!

So that night while Lithuania was in a local hotel, he went online and talked things over with Poland and made a quick request to Ivan for access to his paycheck for his housekeeping work and was aloud to access some of it. Then he gave me a call and told me to ring Arthur and ask if I could come there next week to stay for a month or two. So I did and Arthur seemed pleased to hear from me, yet he seemed to want to know why the sudden visit. I told just for some family time.

"Family time? I never thought I'd hear that lad," Arthur said through the phone.

"I miss you and thought we could spend time together. I'll even let you choose what I wear Iggy!" I told him.

"Well I guess it will do some good, but don't call me Iggy. Where did you even get that name from?" He asked me after agreement.

"Man! I can't remember. Just goes to show we've been together a long time dude!" I laughed down the phone. Arthur sighed and then continued speaking.

"Yes we have. I wish you would of wanted to spend time more often. This is a first Alfred..." He stopped, "I'm very happy to get to spend time with you. I've always wanted to just be alone with you and get to know who you are now," He said warmly before chuckling so I replied with

"That's an amazing thing for you to say Arthur despite my attitude. I'm glad I can spend time with you too. You really are so great. Never once lost it dude "

"Thank you, I will see you next week then lad...Oh and Alfred?" He stopped again waiting for me answer him.

"Err yeah?" I replied before he finally said,

"I don't want any more hatred between us. I've missed you, shall we try a clean slate and see if we can be a family again?" He asked me. I was almost lost for words. Almost!

"Of course. We always have been and I don't want to argue with you I L.!" I stopped myself and his end went quiet.

"Go on" He encouraged me. Did he know or was it like Lithuania said, a hint of affection?

"I like being round you and getting to be the person that means most to you" I replied worried he might get funny about it, but he always surprises me.

"Your always be the most important person to me. I raised you and have the most love for you. Alfred Jones your simply to wonderful to hate!" He said before finishing with, "Sleep well, love" and the line went dead.

Does he mean it as in lover or was it one of his old British terms of 'don't worry about it love'? I don't know, but when Lithuania faxed the printed tickets over, he said on the phone that he couldn't answer that, as it was now just between me and Arthur and that he didn't want to interpret it wrong and upset me. So we just said our thank you and goodbye's before going to bed for the evening.

My last thoughts of the night were always of Arthur and I ended up dreaming of our reaching hands that day we agreed on my Interpendence! This feeling of love was as strong as before and burning bright just for him!

It was a long dream for once and I enjoyed every second of it. I knew that I could expect more dreams of him and me together. I was so happy that I realised all this in one day, now I can just relax and wait for Monday to roll on by. However it took longer then expected, I must of really wanted to see him for time to go by so slowly!

**YES! It's finally done. It took me an hour or two, but it is well worth it. I hope you enjoyed that long chapter and Instead of just using google for the grammer. I discovered I could use a spellchecker, because on this new laptop I don't need a code to use Microsoft word!**

**Yep so this was Chapter 1. I really enjoyed staying up from 11pm to 2am writing it! I was a little sad because I think that my POV writing skills are bad. I could only use like Man and Dude for America because I don't know what he would say bleh! I did however know a lot of words a British person would use because I am British! Yay!**

**Alfred: Aww that suck's that it's not got a good POV of me.**

**Arthur: ...**

**Alfred: What's wrong Iggy?**

**Arthur: Don't call me that and...Where is this story going? I don't like it one bit, I know your cunning fanfiction style Vixy!**

**Vixy: What? I think it's romantic and there's not going to be any smex until later on, at least maybe 10 chapters in or so, but who knows? Maybe earlier?**

**Alfred: Woooh! I love it when things are going to get wild!**

**Arthur: You do know whom the two people will be to do the...as you say smex?**

**Alfred: Err no, but dude it's going to be fun for readers right?**

**Arthur: Oh dear me...It's going to be (Whispers in ear)**

**Alfred: (Eyes wide) What? Well I guess it just makes it good for females then, I'm off to McDonalds for a big Mac.**

**Arthur: Then you're going on the treadmill afterwards**

**Alfred: Aww ok (Sighs)**

**(The two walk off)**

**Vixy: Aww they left... All well, I hope you guys enjoyed it!**

**Don't forget to Review and give me some ideas as to what you want to happen. Should there be some small Poland X Lithuania or should there be a nation interfering like France, Russia or Canda? Maybe France wants England for himself, maybe Russia doesn't like this arrangement and wants to cause some trouble or perhaps Canda wants to be known and be America's favorite family member! Gosh what great idea's, please tell me what I should do and if I could put all of those ideas in. Tell me my lovely fellow fan girls and boys; what do you want to see?**


End file.
